Saving life?nah...

It was another day to go,another exhausting day to undergo spangled wit ward round n rounds n roundss, tbl, and so on. But today was a different new kinda of experience, umm..not really new but kinda stil sparking me wit those fresh n new kinda of feeling from the incident tat happened today morning. I was clerking my as the usual routine goes. N while doing PE on tat patient there was someone asking for help from behind my bed. I was too amused wit the murmur tat was humming into my stets, tat i didn take notice of it. I was much flabbergasted to the crowd after i had my job done n wen turn myself to the bed behind me. It was an emergency collapse,a malay man in his fifties, which the docs are all busy resuscitating. I put on my gloves and straight to the crowd desperately for another try to perform CPR on the patient. HonLian n Kexin were tailing me. 3 of us had the opportunity together wit those HOs n consultant. N wit God grace, his heart pumped few minutes later n by then he was then stabilised. Broad smile painted on each of everyone of us.
But, no one knoes how God played around wit our faith n lives..It was then after my ward rounds tat patient’s BP plunged..almost 40/20 mmHG, n well..tat time I was jus wit the anesthetic and a nurse. Got no idea at all where’s the rest of the HOs. N so, I braved forward or if izzit the silliness of excitement which drives my adrenaline to push myself to save the patient. I did the CPR on my own, n the anesthetic was giving away few jabs of atropine n adrenaline to the patient. It was really not easy at all doing CPR. Uh, I did really give all my best to the patient. Sweat was profusely dripping on tat poor guy who’s already lying coldly there. Ou, there was once when I can heard a crack sound on his chest actually. Only then one of the HO turned out to take my place. N we took turn to resuscitate him. Half way, a nurse asked me to do an ECG for the next patient next to him. Eventually after tat, when I returned bac to tat bed, the doctor asked me to check tat guy before pronouncing dead. N yes, there’s nothing much can be done. My hope fell down crashing n it was really a bad miserable morning. Couldn’t believe after so long, bout 2 hours trying to get him alive, but stil he left. Couldn explain how I feel but tat was something new to me. My second time, after the first one fail as well in A&E department..haih…